Man in the Mirror- Or in this case, Woman in the Mirror

I need to make a change. How do I do that? I start with myself. The great and wonderful Michael Jackson once sang,

"I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take a look at yourself
And then make the change."

I need to take Mr. King of Pops lyrics and apply them to my life.  Growing up I had matured way early and looked much older than I really did. At age 10 years old I was asked by someone if I was 20. I'm 20 years old now. I got my period and boobs at age 8, not only that but it was only 2 months after turning 8. I've had a hard up bringing with my moms addiction but I'm very lucky to have such an amazing family and my mom back with her being clean almost 9 years. By the time I hit 13 I was very ashamed of myself and didn't approve of my body. By 14 I barely ate. I was in size 2 jeans. My skinniest I've ever been.

Me at age 15, recovering from my anorexia, but still skinny.

 I figured moving out of Spanish Fork and going to a different school in a different city would help. It did, we moved to Orem. I love it here so much and I feel at home. But ever since I was 15 I have gained more and more weight as I have gotten older. By the time I hit my senior year I was the heaviest I've ever been, weighing in at 195. I got a gym membership and lost 20 pounds over 6 months. I did good for a few years... and then this year, life happened. Stress, boys, school, friendships, self searching, and here I am... Even heavier than I was before... 205. I'm so ashamed of myself. I seriously cry about this every single day. And yet, I can't find the motivation to eat healthy and go to the gym. I don't understand what is wrong with me. It's like I've fallen into a depression, even though I feel happy. I really need to get in the groove and lose some weight so I can start feeling good about myself again, instead of hating myself.

Pink and Forgotten

So I got a coupon for any Pink purchase at Victoria Secret and I get a $5 t-shirt. I'm always up for a Pink shirt. They are my favorite.

Also, I feel forgotten! That's it. Quite disappointing.

BLAHHH

So last week the Niners LOST to the freaking Cowboys. So embarrassing. Right now they are playing the Bengals and winning! Soooo that's good.

I HAVE BEEN SICK FOR THE PAST WEEK! I'm so sick of being sick. Sometimes I feel like once you are sick, people forget about you. That sure is great feeling. You already feel like crap, and then you feel even worse once you are sick. Oh well. That's my life I guess.

This past week I have made some life changing decisions. After this current semester is finished, I will be getting a full time job and taking a break from school. I have literally not had a break since.... preschool. Kinda ridiculous. I'm actually really really anxious. I can't wait to be making some money and saving money. Sounds magnificent. :) So excited

Peace and Blessings

Utah State Fair & 49ers first game

My new boyfriend. He's pretty cute.

The kids :)

Me and Chyanne with an Owl

I took this picture in San Diego and just love it.

Can I tell you just LOVE the smoothie machine at UVU. Sure does make going to class easier :)

Trying out Vlogging... Football, Friends, and Dance

My 49ers Shirt

Smiles :)

Umm.... I promise we are normal

Kisses

And of course I had to take one of just me hahaha

San Diego - Spirit of Unity

So this past week I ventured off to San Diego with some of the most amazing people in life. It was me, my mom, Shelli, Morisity, Lorenzo, Amberlee, Kyle, Lindsy, and David. We had such a blast and I'm sad to be home. Here are some photos from my trip.

Me and my mom at La Jolla Beach searching for the Great White Shark

At the hotel

Me, Shelli, and Rissy

The whole group at La Jolla

Underwear from Dicks restaurant

At Mission Beach

Seals

Me and Rissy with our bf

The whole group at the convention center

Hard Rock Cafe

Spirit of Unity World Convention

Ocean Beach looking at Tide Pools

Village Inn in St. George

Lindsy and Shelli

Shelli, Amberlee, and Mom

Bear Lake trip #2

Wow, I haven't blogged in a long time. I'm sorry. I've been very very busy with going to bear lake with my family, starting school, going to San Diego, then getting caught up on school work. So here are some pictures from my trip to Bear Lake with my family.

Me and Clay before his fourth Triathlon

Car ride home with Hayden

The entire Spresser family at Bear Lake

Me and my cousin Kodei at Bear Lake

Clay getting ready to start the swimming portion of the Triathlon

Me, Kodei, and Hayden

Me and my mom at Bear Lake

Trying to get Hayden in the picture on the car ride home.